Don't even silent your phone

Night before the day, my mood is going down. I ate a lot. And I said to my self,
"I won't join that team, because I can't"
Then 6 am, I woke up and did't subuh pray. I didn't mean it.
When I woke up again but its too late. I disappointed with my self, but I didn't even cry altought I try.
Honesty, at first time I blame my self for my stupidity, but I realise Allah had my destiny for me, If I took this, might I will blow up and I can't handle it.
Subhannallah, Allahu Akbar.
Ntw, if Allah permit, I will try next year.

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